The Love Dare

update:

So….I don’t have enough people on tumblr reading my blog. :( That’s why i have been waiting to post my other love dare blogs. I am on day 23 today. If you are still interested in the love dare vlogs, I started doing them in videos on Youtube. http://www.youtube.com/user/CrystalJonesify?feature=watch

Click on the link if you are interested in catching up on my love dare. Sorry guys, I just don’t think it’s worth only 7 people reading this when I have 150 on youtube. :( I thought it would be nice to start this blog, but right now I just dont have enough follower to keep me interested in talking to nobody. lol. Thank you to all of you who have been following, it is much appreciatied! :)

I am not delteing this account yet, I shall wait and see if I get anymore followers.

Day 11:

Dare: What need does your spouse have that you could meet today? Can you run an errand? Give a back rub or foot massage? Is there housework you could help with? Choose a gesture that says, “I cherish you” and do it with a smile.

Today, I cleaned the kitchen, let him sleep in, I did the laundry, and cooked dinner. I did all of these things with a smile on my face and without expecting anything in return. I did them with no other reason but to show my husband that I love him.

Things have been sooo much better today! Jake has been in a very good mood and is starting to appreciate me for the things I am doing for him. He has been telling me for the last 3 days how “beautiful” and “awesome” I am. These are things he is saying to me! I am starting to see the big picture. If I treat him well first then it’s pretty hard for him not to give back! This love dare is working! I can’t wait for tomorrow! :)

Day 10:

Dare: Do something out of the ordinary today for your spouse-something that proces (to you and to them) that your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash their car. Clean the kitchen. Buy his favorite dessert. Fold the laundry. Demonstrate love to them for the sheer joy of being their partner in marriage.

Today, I chose to bring my hubby a hot breakfast sandwich and a latte when he woke up. I also let him sleep in today too. In the past, I have not done things for him where I didn’t expect something in return-whether a hug, a gesture, a kind word, or an act of some sort. In the future, I will continue doing things for my spouse without expecting anything at all to show my love to him.

Day 9:

Dare: Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

Today, I greeted my spouse when he woke up. He has been really tired and I let him sleep in until afternoon. When he woke up I said “Good Morning” with a loving tone and a smile on my face. From now on, I will make sure I greet him very lovingly each time he wakes and each time he comes home to let him know how much I love having him here.

He was in a really good mood all day. :)

Day 8:

Today was not a very good day. Today’s dare was to congratulate my spouse on his latest achievement. I found this sooo difficult to do that I ended up doing a previous dare which was do something nice for your spouse. I brought him a cup of coffee and tried to wake him up nicely, but he shrugged the coffee off and didn’t want to get up until 1:00 in the afternoon. When he did finally get up, we got into another arguement and it was sooo difficult to keep my mouth shut up with the negativity that I had to leave. I left our daughter with him for a couple hours where I could cool down.

He is telling me he doesn’t want a baby and doesn’t want to talk about it, but he wants other things like for me to pay for him to get a filling. I felt like he is asking me to give up all of my dreams of having a baby and purchasing a new car in order for him to get the things in life that he wants or needs. I was soo hurt by all of it that I needed a cooling off hour to myself. After I did this, I came home and he wanted to talk.

He promised not to yell at me this time and he apologized. This has really been a difficult road we are traveling right now and I just want things to go back to how they were before I had the miscarriage, which by the way he told me is the reason he doesn’t want to try for another baby is because he says the miscarriage almost destroyed our marriage. I see it as both of our actions toward eachother in dealing with the grief of a miscarriage is what almost destroyed our marriage. Well, I guess this is for the best since we are not as stable as we once were in our marriage. I pray that things will get easier and continue to get better for us.

Thank you to all who are supporting this journey and reading my blogs. Please leave comments and if you have any questions, I would be glad to answer them. :)

Home again

Well, we talked. He said he was at his grandmas house for the first few days and didn’t feel it was necessary to tell me his every move during his trip. I feel otherwise. There is not reason he couldn’t have called me a few times why he was away and there is no reason I should feel guilty for wanting him to, but I do. He promised that next time he goes on a vacation he will call a few times, but that he wont call every day or even every other day. I told him I only wanted a couple calls to hear his voice and know that everything was ok. I’m still not sure that I believe his whole story of he was at his grandmas instead because I am pretty sure his grandma would have told me that when I spoke to her the other day.

He told me that he did go fishing but he only went for 3 of the 11 days he was gone. So, I asked what he did the rest of the time. He said he played video games with his brother in-law, but why couldn’t he call then? He didnt want to because he was afraid he would start worrying about me being home alone and didnt want that worry about me to end his fun times with friends and family. I don’t know. I still feel weirded out by the whole thing, but he is still my husband and I need to find a way to forgive him so we can move on.

Tomorrow starts a new day of the Love Dare. It will be Day 8. Let me know what you guys think. Questions? Comments? I’d love to hear from you. Thank you for watching my blog. :) I will post again tomorrow night,

coming home

Thank you to all who are still reading my blog and thanks for your patience. This has been a long 2 weeks! Hubby is coming home from his fishing trip in a couple hours. I have some bad news though. If you have been reading my blog you know that hubby left me over Thanksgiving for 7 days then returned for 7 days and has now been on a fishing trip for 11 days and is coming home this afternoon. Well, a couple days ago, I called his grandma worried because I had not heard from hubby during the whole time he had been gone except once when I finally got ahold of him on the phone and he made me feel sooo guilty for wanting to talk to him. He said I was making him miss his fishing for the day in order to call me. :( I was bummed since I hadn’t heard from him in 5 days.

BAS NEWS: His grandma told me that he never showed up to meet his uncle for fishing at all! She said he did not go fishing. :( I have not yet told him that I know he has been lying to me. I am waiting until he gets home today to confront him about it. I will make sure that it is done in a positive way. I dont want to anger him but I deserve to know the truth of where he has been the last 11 days and why he felt he needed to lie to me.

His story: He told me he caught 6 fish, threw 2 back, and gave the rest to his uncle. So hes not even bringing home fish for proof that he went. He told me about how cold it was on the river (which he wasn’t even on) then he told me he had been sleeping on a cot by himself at his uncles cabin. :(I wonder where he was really sleeping since I now know he did not go fishing. I am super bummed and have been thinking about how I will confront him when he gets home.

I dressed up on Thursday because he was supposed to come home. He didn’t. I felt bad, but I haven’t given up. I dressed up again today and am hoping he really is coming home, because we definitley need to talk face to face. :(

I am scared and have felt lonely for a while now. I am still having hope that we can work through all of this. I will tell him tonight that there is NOTHING we can’t work through. We are married. I love him. I have already made the decision of loving him. No matter what.

still no show

Hello everybody who might be watching my blog! Thanks for checking it out if you have! :) I am just letting you know that my husband is still a no-show. He decided to stay longer on his fishing trip. He was supposed to come home yesterday. I dressed up for his arrival and even lit some Christmas candles to make the house smell good for when he got home, only to receive a text later that he wouldn’t be coming. :( I am hopeful that he is just taking some time to refresh his thoughts while he is away and that things will get better when he returns home. I will continue to keep you all posted. In the meantime, I am just trying to get by being home alone-well with my daughter. She will have christmas break starting this weekend. I made Christmas cookies and been trying to keep myself busy while hubby is away. Hope you guys continue to follow my blog. <3 Please leave comments and let me know what you think. I dont want this blog to be a waste of my time if nobody is reading it. Thank you! :)

dare on hold for a week

Hello people who want to listen :)

I am just giving you a quick update. My husband left for his fishing trip yesterday so it has just been me and the kiddo who is in school still until 2 weeks from now for winter break. Anayway, I am still practicing the love dare only I am re-reading what I have already done in the past and I am continuing to pray about this stuff, but since Jake is gone right now I can’t really practice anything with him other than patience and waiting for him to come back home. Thank you to anyone who has been reading my blog, please feel free to leave a comment or reaction below. :) Hope you all are having a great week. You can message me too if you would like. If you don’t have an account, create one and follow me on my journey! :)

Day 7:Love believes the best

Dare: Get 2 sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your sp[use. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet of paper. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having these characteristics.  

Wow! I can’t believe I have already made it through 7 days! This week has really been the best week since we first met. We have had way more communication between us and we have both been much happier.

Reaction: I told my husband that I admire his patience and thanked him for having it. I told him that I like this quality in him because I lack it. I told him that I actually look up to him for this. After I told him, he looked at me and his lip started quivering. I thought he was going to start crying because he actually had tears in his eyes and my husband is not one to cry. I though oh my gosh! The reaction of just 1 positive word can really mean the world to someone. I felt kind of bad for not letting him know things I love about him before and I plan to start taking the time to do so every day. He thanked me and told me how much it meant to hear that. I was surprised that I don’t really have that many negative things to say about my husband, I guess that means I am the one with the problems, not him. He really has tried to do all the right things and I have let my own selfish ways and negative attitude get in the way of that. It stops now. I will get better at this stuff. :)

Jake has gone on his fishing trip this week, so I will have plenty of time to read my book and kind of plan ahead as to how I am going to continue this journey and in what ways I can change and be more positive.